Love Sirius Black? Me? Never
by Dancingbooklover
Summary: 90% of the girls in Hogwarts would give anything to have Sirius Black head over heals in love with them. Not me, I'd switch places with them any day... would I?
1. Ch1: Where It All Started

**Here's my first story! I've written before, but not on Fanfiction. This chapter probably sucks, but please give me a chance! I have some AMAZING ideas for the story! Please enjoy and review! Please keep reading through all the chapters! :) Have fun!**

1: The Beginning of It All

It was my sixth year at Hogwarts. Things hadn't changed much since my first time on this train, the parents were still wiping away tears, the first years looking even smaller, the same snack trolley witch, and, of course, my best friends who always sat with me in, compartment 17, Heidi, Kathreen, and Lily Evans. It was always a difficult ambition to find a seat on the Hogwarts express, but our stubborn little quartet always pushed through the crowds as if we were Lucius Malfoy, a bullying, stupid Slytherin. A surprise though this year was that four more people soon joined us. The Mardaurors. Me and my group of friends has become rather close to them in our fourth year being in the same year and house. This was the year in which I grew to know Remus Lupin.

It was a well known fact that I was head over heals in love with Remus. He was quiet, bookish, and always extremely kind to me. In a way, he was sort of like myself. I had always worked hard at being top in the year, (although always beaten by Lily), I read many many books, not only the wizarding books, but muggle books like Jane Austin and classic romances as well.

As they made themselves comfortable, I looked down in a small mirror to make sure I was looked decent. I was averagely pretty, tan, clear skin, rosy cheeks, pink lips, blond short hair. I was always getting teased about how small I was: 5'2" although, and soon, I was not surprised to hear a mocking tone in a couple of seconds.

1... 2... 3...

"Alethia McKinnan!" There it was, Sirius' drawling low voice calling my name, "Could you hand me my lunch above you? OH WAIT! You can't reach!" God, this was getting old.

As soon as I was going to answer a witty response, my tongue froze in my mouth and I was suddenly aware of how much Sirius had grown! He was, well, very, exceedingly handsome. His dark hair messily covering his eyes, his dark expressive eyebrows moving as he talked, his tall, muscular body all made him the one guy all the crazy girls chased after.

After a couple moments of silence as I stood there I remembered to say sarcastically, "Oh wait, I could hand you your lunch, if i could use magic, but there isn't such a thing as wizards and witches. Wait, I AM a witch!" it wasn't the best retort but, whatever, I had time to think of better retorts the entire year.

"Lilikins!" Oh no, that's James Potter alright. "I've missed you so much my Lily Flower, I bet you've missed me too." he had that stupid love sick grin on his face. James had been practically stalking his "Precious Lily" since second year. I glances at my best friend, and sure enough, she looked like she was going to explode and in a moment she ran away out of the compartment.

Well, now that my closest friend is hiding from her lover, it's time for some nice quiet chatting with Remus, I thought with a smile. I knew Remus didn't like me like i wish he did, and didn't think he ever would. I mean we were great friends, I saw him as more, but he didn't. We talked silently for a couple minutes of summer, music, books, and what school was supposed to be like this year. I suddenly noticed out of my happiness that he looked rather awkward, like he didn't want to talk to me and soon he began making "small talk" with Kathereen.

Hmmm...

Well, I guess I never really explained my relationship with Sirius. It was, confusing. We teased each other all the time, yet we didn't take it seriously. I was always fed up with him, but me, Alethia, never snapped out at anyone! Something about him just made me want to annoy him and push all his buttons until he would burst. Hmmm, Sirius Black bursting and blowing up... I wish, I thought.

I tried to listen in on Remus and Kathereen, he didn't look smitten. Yes! Suddenly I heard a little voice from the corner.

"Where's the trolly witch?" Oh! It was Peter Pettigrew, my did he scare me, but it was my job to be kind.

"Hey Peter! How was your summer?"

"Great! I watched lots of movies and got tan!", he squeaked.

"Yeah, that's one heck of a tan Peter. Your whiter than you were at the beginning of the summer!" Sirius interjected. I couldn't help myself from laughing for the next couple of minutes while my extremely quiet friend Heidi looked uncomfortable, Sirius looked highly amused, and Peter had a look of absolute fright on his face, that was just as Sirius had said, whiter than he was last year!

"Ali, relax it wasn't that funny." Sirius told me as I immediately started to blush, a deep red coming up my neck. I didn't want to be embarrassed and have them see I was blushing, so I decided to go change out of my muggle clothes into my robes.

Just as I decided, and told my friends not to wonder where I was, closed the door and started to go down the hall, I looked back in the compartment one last time only to find Sirius still staring out the door as if he was missing my presence or something. It was not only strange that he was looking to see where I had gone for normally it wouldn't have mattered, but it was strange that he was still looking out the door with a dazed expression on his face. When he finally saw me looking confusedly at him he smile his famous grin as we caught each others eyes. His eyes were steely, piercing, like they could see right through you, an yet they were kind, gentle, and always had am amused air to them. I started blushing again, as I thought about how much I hated my blush and why I was suddenly embarrassed that we locked eyes for a second. It must be that he was so handsome this year and I wasn't yet used to it. Yes, that is definitely why I had blushed so fiercely, I assured myself as I skipped down the hall toward the bathrooms.

**THIS IS NOT A STORY ABOUT REMUS AND ALETHIA! IT'S ABOUT SIRIUS. I also know this chapter is short, my next ones pretty short too, but they will get longer as we get to know the characters and such! **


	2. Ch2: Back at Our Real Home

2: Back at our real home

**CHAPTER 2! Sorry, I'm grounded and don't have much time on the computer so this is probably in a big need of an edit. But, enjoy! And, please remember to review! I have a lot of GREAT ideas for the story.**

CLUNK. A screeching of brakes. The Hogwarts Express had finally stopped after some very interesting couple hours of us trying to perform a quick tan spell on Peter, Peter eating half of the trolleys continents, James changing his hair pink for Lilly to make it more romantic, and Remus speaking of his furry little problem which I assumed was a bunny. Sigh, yes, I suppose we were finally back at our real home.

We had been waiting quietly during the sorting until Kate bursted out, "Gaah! Why is the sorting so boring I'm starved!" Kathreen snorted loudly. She was a pretty outgoing girl, and was never, and let me say never again, NEVER afraid to speak her mind.

"I think it's quite interesting" Heidi said. She took us back for once by talking out loud, when other people were around. She was an exceedingly shy introvert which sometimes bothered me, but at the same time, she also listened to all your problems which made her a great friend.

"Yeah, almost as interesting as watching a cow poop..." I heard Kate mumble behind her hand, barely audible. I chuckled be use Kate was probably implying that watching a cow poop was a million times more interesting than watching terrified little kids put on some old hat. I chuckled again.

Finally, I heard, "Ammi Zabini, SLYTHERIN!" Yelled out from the hat. The sorting was over and it was time for the feast! I couldn't help but let my hunger take over me as I ate the delicious pudding that Xenophilius Lovegood loved so much, whole chickens, turkey, and everything one could ever think of as the golden plates kept on refilling themselves with more delicious flavors.

A half hour wore on, then an hour, and it wasn't until two hours had passed when the students were slowly stopped stuffing their faces with pounds and pounds of heavenly food.

Ting, Ting, Ting! That was the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. He began to stet his annual speech of which I only caught snippets of: "No going into the forbidden forest..." Blah, blah... "No magic in halls..." Blah, blah, blah... It was the same thing he said every year, a regular routine for the older students. Everyone wasn't listening, except for Mary and maybe Remus, but I doubted that. When finally we heard though the boring talk of rules, "You are dismissed!", we all scurried as fast as we could to be the first ones back in the common room.

I, being a Griffindor, ran up to the fat lady portrait hole only to find a huge crowd waiting for her to open up. Oh no, she was trying to break a glass by singing again, when would she ever know she couldn't? After ten minutes of listening to high pitched screeches she reluctantly let us in. It was the same old, cozy, red common room I had grown to love. With it's maroon and gold curtains, the fireplaces on each wall, the worn satin couches and armchairs, and the winding staircases that lead to the dormitories I decided that this was one of the most comforting safe places one could ever be in.

Throughout the next couple of weeks everyone was counting how many times the teachers would say, "Be responsible.", or, "You have to really be on top of your studying for owls". Kathreen said she counted a hundred, Remus said ten, and I said an even fifty. I had thought about my feelings for Remus the past few days, I couldn't decide if they were just loving in a friendly way or in a more than friendly way. I was confused, but I decided to not dwell upon the thought of it for too long.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts we were supposed to work together in pairs, in which I wished that I was either with Lily, Kathreen, Remus, or James. Contrary to Lily's belief that James Potter was an arrogant toerag who only wanted to see if he could win her affections, he was really just a silly clown type of person who, forgive me Lily, was actually desperately in love with Lily Evans. But as Professor Elania, a young fearful little witch, called out the pairings I heard my name linked with Black's.

Crap.

As he approached my desk I though how this year I would be stuck with hearing snide comments about my height, a bad grade, or even a bad hair day from no other than Sirius Black.

"Hello Ali." He said as he looked down at me with his steel grey eyes.

"Good Morning Sirius!" I said with fake cheer before I added, "Could you please not tease me about my height or grades or a bad hair day or not getting a spell right or-" I was cut off by his shhhing as he put his finger up to quiet my mouth. The second his rough hand touched my lips I immediately felt a shiver as if someone was blowing cold air down my neck. I guess I was kinda cold, I thought as I pulled on a jacket.

"Why should I? I mean, you make just as teasing comments to me." He asked with a smirk.

Dangit. Good point.

"Well," I thought, "Maybe, hmm, maybe we could try a truce?" I said questioning myself as he looked about to laugh at me.

"Siriusly? Sorry, couldn't help it. Bad pun." I frowned as he chuckled before continuing, "A truce not to say any stupid or possibly hurtful things seeing that we'll have to be stuck together for the whole year?"

I just nodded.

"Good! I was going to say the same thing myself actually." I looked at him questioningly. "Well, maybe not the exact same thing. But something like it" He said in a rush. The rest of class was fairly uneventful and pretty much went like this, "No, your doing the swish to big." Oh, alright." "Good one." "Thank you." And so on and so on. I was very surprised to not her any rude comments about my height or something that I did wrong with my wand work.

After class even more surprisingly after class he said to me, "I actually enjoyed working with you today, it was kinda fun." He smiled. Huh. I wouldn't describe the class to be fun, but I would call it... Decent, I guess. "Uh, yeah, it was fun. I-I guess." I stuttered. He smiled at my surprise.

"See you around McKinnan."

"Yeah, see ya Sirius." I wondered, I wondered if we could call each other friends? I mean, we got around well when he wasn't so focused on teasing me and I wasn't so focused on making hurtful come backs. Yes, we could definitely be acquaintances, almost friends. But enough worrying over that, I'm going to go study with Remus.


	3. Ch3: Quidditch and Pinky Promises

**Hey! Here's the third chapter! Please review! Because, that is the real way to get more people to read it! Thank you. :)**

I stepped through the portrait hole only to find an a normal sight, James swooning over at Lily, Remus quietly writing an essay, and Sirius with his arms over two fake looking plastic girls. This sight made anger bubble up from my toes to my head. I felt a slow, creeping feel of heat crawl up my neck to my cheeks. Why did he have to be such a womanizer? It made me angry just to see him hitting with the girls. No, I thought, why was I thinking this? Why did it make me so angry and upset when I looked upon this site? I was suddenly confused with my own feelings, my feelings of myself wanting to be alone in Sirius' arms. No. That wasn't it! It couldn't be, he was only my acquaintance, I just started knowing his heart instead of him when hiding behind constant mockery, I shouldn't feel this defensive just because he was my acquaintance. Maybe, I felt sorry for the girls for they would get heir hopes up only to have them plummet to he depths when hey walk in on him flirting with different girls.

Hiding my own confusing anger I walked swiftly pat him to work on an essay for Slughorn. But suddenly, I heard a low drawling voice. Oh no, the man whore was talking to me. I couldn't show my anger that would risk me losing our "aquaintance".

"Yes Sirius?" I asked silently, a little weak.

"Looking forward to all our defense against the dark Arts classes together?" he replied with a smirk.

Sirius appeared to not he out if his flirting mood yet. "I look forward to them like any other class" I replied a little coldly.

"What's with the attitude Ali?"

" None of your business Black. Just go on over to your little girlfriends there, they look like they've missed you. I wonder what they will feel like tomorrow when you replace them with different fake,beautiful girls."

"Woah, Ali. Are you upset that I was flirting with some girls?" I raised an eyebrow up at him. "Okay, fine. Maybe I was looking for more than flirting..." I raised my other eyebrow up at him. "A lot more than flirting?" he added questioningly wondering if this was the right answer. This made me unwillingly chuckle.

"No Sirius." I gave in, "It's just that these girls will probably cry for nights after you give them hope. They think something might happen more than just a quick snog, but every time you disappoint them, I'm just worried for them Sirius, not you." And with that I flew up into my dormitory and fell fast asleep.

In our DADA classes things pretty much stayed the same, we had our usual chatter about the spells and wand work, until Remus asked me if I wanted to study ALONE with him. My eyes were wide with surprise until I was awoken from my own little world with a wolf-whistle. I furrowed my brows as I looked around only to see Sirius grinning suspiciously. I turned to Remus with a even bigger than normal smile, "I would love to study with you!" Spinning around to face Sirius, I said cordially, "Good day Black. See you around." and with that I strode away to work with Remus in the library. I had always loved working with Remus, not only because I supposedly "fancied" him, but because I always got my work finished quickly. I glanced sideways at him now, his eyes were narrowed in concentration, his nose was almost touching the paper as he wrote letter after letter in his swooping hand style, his dirty blond bangs were in need of a cut as swooped down messily over his forehead. He was not the most attractively handsome boy in Hogwarts, but all these little antics about him made me love him.

"Are you almost done with the essay?" Remus' quiet voice interrupted my train of thought.

"Oh! Yeah, um, I have about, four more inches to go?" I said realizing I was no where close to as far Remus was.

"Ali! You aren't close at all!" He sniggered as he look up at my upset face, "Don't worry, Alethia! I promise I'll help you, even if that means we're here for another hour."

I had to smile at how sincere Remus sounded but to make sure I added, "Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise." he said as we clasped pinkies.

"Am I interrupting some sort of love feast?" "Yeah, no PDA in the library!" Just as I expected, James Potter and Sirius Black were standing behind us with their arms folded. Why did they have to always be everywhere? Knowing them, they probably have cameras all over the castle just to watch for "PDA".

"No you weren't interrupting anything, Ali and I were just pinky promising." Remus replied calmly. He didn't even blush or seem nervous at all. If I was the one expected to answer he question, I would've gotten all red, skittish and I wouldn't even be able to tell the truth without spluttering like a drunk fool.

"What's a pinky promise?" James wondered.

"A pinky promise is a promise that you clasp pinkies after." still seeing their confusion I added, it's a bit like the unbreakable vow, except you don't die or anything particularly bad happens, it's just the same jist if it."

A look of understanding at once started filling their eyes, " Oh! I understand! You were promising Remus you were going to marry him! It all makes sense now!" Sirius and James rolled over while laughing their hearts out at this pointless joke. I look exasperated at the flustered Remus.

"Let's get out of here. Leave these two to their laughing ab workout." I laughed as we began to pack up our things into our over-loaded book bags. Any doubt I had had over my feelings for Remus were forgotten as we talked of books, new tricky little spells, and of anything that was on our mind. As we neared upon the portrait hole it appeared as though Remus knew of the lost art of chivalry; he opened the door and held his hand out to guide me through the door, past the crowded common room, and into an armchair in front of the fire.

Expecting to work more on my essay with Remus and without the distraction of two other marauders, I jumped when I heard my name shouted.

"Ali, Ali, Ali! Are you going to try out for the Griffindor quidditch team? I think you should, I mean, you've always done fabulously when we play against each other. I wonder if you'd be a seeker or-" Kathreen continued rambling about the different positions and their usual body types, and when I couldn't take any more of it, I looked helpless at Remus who immediately said, "Kathreen! Quit it! We don't need to know about the warmth charm in the jerseys," For she had just started on that subject, "But, I would like to know if our little Ali was planning on being at the pitch tomorrow."

"I don't know... Wh-what if I make a fool of myself? What if I don't even get near to being on the team? I probably wouldn't, so what's the use in trying?"

I was immediately SHHHHd by Remus. "Ali? How could you ever be bad at anything? You'll do amazing. And if you forget, I have a pretty heavy weight on who's on the team, remember? Sirius is the captain this year." Exactly what I needed, right when I had started to get excited about something, I found out that Sirius Black was in charge of it.

"Excuse me? Did you just say Black was the captain?"

"Yes, I believe he is. I know you would rather only have to spend your DADA classes together, but being on the team is really worth it, right Kate?" Kate immediately began agreeing by nodding her head so fast I was afraid she wouldn't have any brain cells left for her to play Quidditch.

"Well, I, uh, guess it couldn't hurt to try?" I said uncertain at my own words.

"WHOO! Go McKinnan! You will so get on the team! Wait-ait. There's Sirius! Hey Sirius guess what?" Kathreen's speed talking was actually correct for once, there was Black, smirking high above me.

"What Kate? What is the supreme urgency that made you call my attention?"

She just replied with a quick, "Guess."

"Fine, well, the first thing that pops into my head is that you are completely and utterly in love with me, but I doubt it." Of course, he would think that she was obsessed with him, that's all his undeveloped mind could think of before over heating.

"No you silly goose!" She replied as she struck him on his nose, "Alethia is going to try out for the team tomorrow! We just convinced her too, well actually, Remus mostly did." As Sirius raised an eyebrow up at his friend, he turned to me and said, "Really Ali? That's great! Now we'll actually have a chance to talk outside if class and our constant jabs at one another."

"Are you joking?" I replied cautiously, "Y'know you just told me that I'd make the team, although you haven't ever even seen me on broomstick?"

"No i didn't, I just want you to think you did, that's what I do to all the girls that try-out" He smirked triumphantly. And with that my spirits went from an incredible bight, to a far below zero low.

**I think this is a pretty good length for a chapter, 1629 words, remember there will be a lot of them because I have to fit all these ideas that are in my head, in the story! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. Ch4: Misunderstandings

4: Quidditch, you know it.

It was a chilly late October day when I made my way out to the Quidditch pitch to start the tryouts. There were already many screaming girls out there in their short shorts and fitted T's screaming and eyeing Sirius. I sighed, there was no way Sirius would take me on the team when there was such an opportunity with these girls, or maybe Sirius wasn't like that with Quidditch? Maybe he was completely serious about it and wouldn't take a beautiful girl instead of a hard-core athlete? Either way he would choose, I was still nervous. Despite my lack of enthusiasm when Kathreen had first planted the idea in my head, the idea had grown and grown and grown into a need to be on the team. The only set back was the fact that Sirius was the captain. I didn't completely hate him, and he didn't hate me, it's just that I would rather spend my time with someone else. We dealt with our partnership in DADA and we weren't expecting to have to deal with our truce outside of the classroom, but no, if I got on the team I'd have to work alongside him even more! Or, maybe, I would have to put aside my hearts ways and just think of the game and how to win.

I had always loved Quidditch since I was a little child. There was something freeing about it, the feel of win against my face, being high above the earth, the way nothing can thwart your happiness! And then...

Oh. My. Gosh.

There he was, Sirius Black. He was just wearing his jersey so you could see straight through the arm holes to his toned six pack, his cheeks were flushed with the chill of the wind, his hair going every single direction, why, oh why was he so attractive? Having him there would probably make all these girls faint at the sight of him, except for me. I simply just stood there awestruck bugging out my big blue eyes staring at him; I didn't even realize it until he started walking my direction.

"Something wrong McKinnan? Need some calming potion?" I still stood there, not knowing what to say or do. "Uh, Ali?"

"Y-y-yes?" I responded barely able to make my mouth move.

"You're kind of standing there looking like you just saw Peter having sex or something..."

"Oh yeah, I just stumbled in on him and some slytherin naked."

"SERIOUSLY? Oh my gosh! Bad image in my head, bad image in my head!" He yelled as he began shaking his head furiously.

"No! Of course not! Disgusting! Now you planted that idea in my head!" We both started doing something like a jig while screaming variations of, "Ew!", "Grooooossss", "That shouldn't even be allowed!" while flapping our arms wildly around our heads. We fell on the ground laughing as all the Sirius fan girls crowded around me.

"Sirius? They kind of look like they're going to kill me." I said looking up into his steely grey eyes.

"Not on my watch they won't." He smiled down at me. After a second he added whispering, "It would be kind of fun to make them jealous though, huh?" I clearly did not understand. "C'mon, that's too much fun to pass by! I'll help you up, and then we'll hug, alright? He whispered into my ear. Just as he had warned he helped me up from the ground into a gigantic hug. I flinched at first as my head was thrust against his chest, but I soon began to relax as he held me firmly to him, sweetly playing with my hair. He smelled musky like woods with some savory cinnamon. The smell suited him perfectly. I let out a sigh as I breathed in the seducing fragrance one more time before he let me go and said quietly, "I love you, Alethia." The fan girls heard and gasped as one by one they ran screaming from the pitch.

As soon as they were gone Sirius let out a maddening cackle as he strode around to find help to stay upright. He struggled for breathe through his maniac laughter and ended up collapsing on top if me as I struggled for say, "Sirius, get Off ME!" But, instead of letting his weight off me, he fell on top of me making me land right under him. I stared frightened into Sirius' laughing eyes as he said, "Now, good thing those girls aren't here, they would about kill to be you right now." he smirked triumphantly when he finally let me up.

"Well, let's hope no one saw that, in case they got the wrong idea." But it was too late. Up in the back of the stands I saw Remus scowling at us as he stormed down to meet us.

"What the hell do you think your doing Sirius? Taking advantage of girls is plain out wrong, but Alethia? What were you thinking? Ali's our friend! How could you even think of doing that to her? I know you have flaws, but you didn't think taking advantage of your friends was one if them. You know what? I'll probably loose her now, thanks to you."

I wanted to leave this place as they continued to lash out at each other. I just couldn't stand to see these two best friends fighting over something that didn't even happen. Soon I heard Sirius yell, "I didn't take advantage of her Remus! How do you think I could do that to Ali? I-I care too much for her! I could never let anything ever, do you hear that? Ever! Happen to her. I can't believe you would actually believe that, Remus, maybe it's because you were jealous about what you thought you saw or maybe you just have a problem with overreacting? I might have a reputation, but how could I ever hurt Ali? That would be impossible for me, Remus, and I hope you realize it now." I looked over at Remus' downcast face as he uncomfortably shuffled his feet and backed slowly away from him.

"That's not what it looked like..." He replied slowly.

"Well, everything isn't what it looks like. That's a lesson you have to learn Remus."

"Well, I, uh, I... Guess I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and waited for you to explain." He answered quietly, and then, a few seconds later he said in a loud and strong voice, "But Sirius. If you ever touch her or mess with her you'll have me to face. I will not let you get away wig t if it ever happens. You remember that."

"Of course Remus, but, we actually should start the try outs... So if you could get off the field?" Remus left without another word still looking angry and confused.

I looked up at Sirius for the first time to see him standing rigidly next to me with anger in his eyes not daring to move away, sort of like he was protecting me.

"Sirius?" I said uncertainly, "You care for me? I, well, I guess I never thought you thought of me as a friend."

He laughed at me, "Alethia? Of course I care for you. And of course we're friends! You're probably the only girl who's my friends that I feel I can actually talk to. C'mon Ali, we've got some Quidditch to play!" he pulled me into a side hug as we began to start playing.

One thing that I couldn't get out of my head was he fact that Sirius Black had just said that he felt as though he could talk to me, as though he could open up with me. He had never seemed to share any of his thoughts with me, but now that I thought about it, I had been spending more and more time with him. He actually wasn't that bad when you get to know him... He actually had a funny sense of humor and loved to have fun. I thought about this the whole time I had been flying. I was pretty sure I would get on the team, I mean Sirius thought we were good friends and he was impressed with my flying so in no way was I surprised as he read my name out as one of the new chasers. I was actually overjoyed at the thought of being on the team, and the fact that Sirius was captain didn't madden me anymore, instead, I was kind of excited about it.

"Hey Ali?" That was Potter's voice, "Well, the whole team was going to go get a shot of fire whiskey from the kitchen, and we were wondering if you wanted to come, so, would you?"

I laughed, normally I would have hands down said no, but, "Why not?" I said full of energy and happiness.

"Great! But, just a shot, no more." He smirked.

As we walked into the castled and started heading towards the kitchens, there was one thing I couldn't forget, the feeling that I got when Sirius had said, "I love you, Alethia."


	5. Ch5: Sirius' Singing and MANY Dresses

**I am changing the name of the story from, "The Definition of Love" to "No! Not Sirius Black!" Thank you so much for reading! :) **

Ch5

My days were now filled with Quidditch and schoolwork. I was so busy, but I was somehow happier than normal. I couldn't stop from just letting a smile come upon my face as I walked through the halls. I didn't know why, but I was okay with it.

While I was daydreaming once in Transfiguration, my head snapped up as I heard the words, "Dance", come from McGonagall's mouth. No… I thought. I hated dances. The fact that you just had to dance with people was a terrifying thought to me, along with getting "gussied" up, and the pressure of having a date. Apparently, my views on dances were not shared not shared by the squealing girls around me.

Kathreen tugged on my sleeve, "Ali! Aren't you excited? A masquerade dance! It's going to be amazing! I hope Tom will ask me…" I soon toned her out of my hearing. Hmmm, a masquerade? Those are the worst of them all… You not only had to find a dress, you had to find a matching mask. I looked around the room to see if any couples were eyeing each other and saw both Remus and Sirius looking at me. As soon as I caught eyes with Sirius, he looked away quickly and stared at some other girl, but Remus just kept staring at me. I was positive he would ask me right after class was over, and I was positive of my answer. I should have felt overjoyed at this thought that the man I had been so called in love with was going to ask me to the dance, but somehow, it didn't seem like a big deal. It felt as if maybe it was just like going with a friend.

Just as I had predicted, Remus came running up after me with a wide grin on his face. "Alethia? Would, you, um, like to go to the ball with me?" He asked with the never-ending smile on his face.

I couldn't help but smile at his confidence and replied, "Of course, I'd love to go with you."

"Good then! In three weeks on Friday, I'll pick you up in the Great Hall at seven. Remember, 'k? But, for now, would you like to grace me with your presence by studying with me in the library?"

I Laughed, "Yes Remus, I will, as you say, 'grace you with my presence' in the library." And with that, he linked arms with me as we turned to leave. As I swung out the door I couldn't help but notice the expression on Sirius' face as I left. It was anger mixed with regret, loneliness, and despair, but this was quickly replaced with his flirtatious grin as he approached some fifth year hufflepuff girl, I wasn't even sure if I saw this change of mood.

I headed down to my DADA class expecting Sirius to be late as always, instead to find him waiting for me. I raised an eyebrow up at him and said, "What happened? Finally got the sense in you to be on time?"

"Nope," He laughed, "I just thought it'd be nice if you didn't have to wait for me to begin class."

I looked uncertain at him as I sat down. "Well, I think we're supposed to practice stunning…"

"Alrighty then. Lets attack each other." Sirius yelled.

"What the heck, Sirius? What's wrong with you?" I couldn't help but wonder as he was laughing maliciously.

"Nothing, nothing at all. Do you want to be stunned first, McKinnan?"

As we were practicing, not one of us could get the spell right; we kept missing, or just hitting a toenail or hair. Neither of us were knocked out by the time class was over.

"Students?" Professor Elaina's voice interrupted our miscast spells, "I would like you all to practice this spell with your partner for homework. And please, do not stun anyone else as you do so."

Great, so now I had more homework. And with a partner too, and of course, that partner had to Black. I didn't know what to make of his strange manner, and was hoping I wouldn't have to deal with it later.

Sirius strangely started singing, actually, SINGING, " Ali! Ali, we are going to have to attack each other more tonight, attAAAAck each other…" The whole class stared at him with wide yes thinking him to be possessed or something.

"Sirius. Shut up!" I hissed in his ear, trying to stay as far away from him as possible.

"But, I like singing, Ali. But, I am getting some pretty weird looks… I guess I should stop…" He whispered back.

"Yes! You should." I said as I gathered up my book bags only to have them carried someone else. "Sirius, what are you doing?"

"Walking you to our next class, we both have charms right?" He asked.

"Uh… Yes we do." I replied hesitantly, "But, why were you so, I don't know, weird in that class?"

"Well, I guess it was because I was happy there was a dance, happy that there wasn't any Quidditch practice tonight, and happy that I got to attack you." He added jokingly.

I stopped and started laughing hysterically, "You, you! You were acting all funny 'cuz you were happy? Is that how you always are when your "happy"? I should avoid you whenever you're smiling then I guess." I still couldn't stop laughing as Sirius frowned at me.

"Yeah, well, is there anything wrong with that? Is there anything wrong with me being weird? You're the one who always laughs at the weirdest things!" Sirius was all of a sudden being defensive.

"Yes, I guess I do laugh at the randomest of things, but, laughing is good for you. Black, I guess I just never saw you like that and it kind of freaked me out a little. You don't have to get all defensive about it." I said trying not to make this into a stupid fight.

Sirius thought for a while and then finally gave in, "Yeah, I guess so. But, why is laughing good for you?" This started our conversation about laughter as we walked to the charms classroom.

**Later that night...**

"But, Kathreen! I don't want to get dresses…" I was protesting against Kate's demands of us shopping in Hogsmeade.

"Yes, Kate, I really wouldn't want to waste time in a dress store." Little Heidi piped up.

"Girls, girls! The dance is in two weeks and we are ALL going! Me with Tom, Ali with Remus, and Heidi and Lily can go together! We've got to get our dresses!" Lily, Heidi, and I rolled our eyes. Finally we gave in and agreed to go to a dress shop.

When we walked into the shop we were engulfed in different colors, fabrics, and designs.

"Can't breathe, too, many, DRESSES!" I joked as I pretended to faint.

"Stop it, Ali. What color do you want? I think magenta would be the perfect color for you." And with that she disappeared into the midst of the clothes. I was still waiting for her to return with my dress, (I wasn't brave enough to find one for myself) and saw that Lily had found an short, emerald green halter dress with gold gems around the neckline, and Heidi had found a floor length light blue dress with ruffles up the side. They both fit them perfectly. I was soon getting impatient to leave the store when Kate came up with a dark magenta dress. It was short and made out of thin fabric so it ruffled against my skin. On the bottom of the dress little specks of gold fabric peeked out when I walked.

"Kate…" I breathed as I stood before the mirror, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but, it's absolutely amazing. And, I am going to buy it!"

Screams erupted from my friends as I placed the dress near the register. Kate was behind me holding a light pink and white dress with pink gems all over, I stopped from laughing, it was all pink and perfect for Kathreen.

We were having a great time laughing and enjoying the day until Sirius Black confronted me. "McKinnan. I think its time we start attacking each other." All the girls had the most confused looks on their faces. At first I didn't even realize what he was talking about and them I let out a small, "Oooh…" as the assignment of yesterday crept into my memory. "I guess we should practice… How about when we get up to the castle?"

"Good. See you there, Ali." Sirius nodded and walked away to join the marauders once again.

"Now, what was THAT about?" Lily started questioning immediately.

"Nothing, It's just that we are supposed to practice stunning each other, remember? For Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"Oh yeah… No! That means I'll have to work with James…" Lily started going on another rant about how much James stalked her, how much he annoyed her, and so on and so on. It was strange because, deep down I had a gut feeling that she did love James, yes, love, him. I just wondered when Lily would realize this.

"Lily! Enough with James. Lets go get some butterbeer before I have to go stun Black." We laughed as we linked arms and started skipping off towards the Three Broomsticks.

A couple hours later when we were completely full of warm butterbeer I started heading back up to the castle to meet Sirius. I was a little bit afraid of this "practice session". Not only because we had to e completely alone in case our spells hit other people, but also because he would probably only be able to stun me and I won't be able to stun him. I soon reached the castle and entered a small vacant classroom only to find Sirius there again, waiting for me.

"On time again?" I asked.

"Yes, It would seem as I am. I guess my legs can carry me faster than your little, teeny ones can." He joked.

"Hey! No jibes about my height Black! Remember? Our truce? C'mon, lets just get this over with."

"Anything for McKinnan." He replied with a fake low bow. "You want to go first?"

"Sure! Who would give up an opportunity to stun Sirius Black?"

"No, no, no. You misunderstand me. You take the first turn with getting stunned."

"Fine, you'll miss though." I laughed pulling myself up to face him.

"Lets see about that." I heard him say the spell and saw a jet of red light. The last thing I remember was a searing pain and the feeling of blood on my head as I passed out.

**Thank you so much for reading! This isn't the best chapter of all, but I hope you still like it! Please review. What would you do with this story? Where would you take it? I'd love to know! REVIEW! It'd be great to have 15 reviews wouldn't it? And also, what should the title of this story be? Tell me in a review! Thanks again for reading! :) **

**-DancerSar* **


	6. Ch6: Realizations

**Please bear with me! Thank you for reading my story everyone. :)**

Chapter 6: Realizations

I opened my eyes to the feel a bandage around my aching head. I didn't realize why it there until I started to remember the events of the night before. I remembered Sirius saying, "Let's see about that." a red stream of light, pain, then nothing else. As I grew my bearings I looked around to see none other than Sirius Black holding my hand and looking at me tenderly. I didn't realize it was he at first, but when I did, I widened my eyes and stared at him, then at our hands, then back at him. Sirius blushed, actually blushed, and quickly let go looking embarrassed. Why did he look so embarrassed to be holding my hand, I mean, he could've just been comfortingly holding it as friends, but, then, why did he blush red? Soon, my thoughts were interrupted by his voice saying calmly, "So Ali, looks like I was able to stun you…"

"Yes, Sirius, I think that is the reason I'm in this predicament."

He chuckled nervously, "Listen Alethia," I stared blankly up at him, "I'm truly sorry for what happened last night. You got hit with so much force that you collided into one of the desks. I ran you up to the hospital wing as fast as I could. Gosh, we should have cleared the room first…"

Suddenly, a vision clouded my mind of me, limp and unconscious, being carried by, Sirius Black, who was sprinting up to find help as fast as he could. I was silent as I thought of this until I said, "What time is it?"

"One o'clock in the afternoon sounds about right."

"Sirius? You haven't been here the whole night, have you?" I asked doubtfully.

"Yep! Ever since I carried you up here. I had to make sure you were okay… I couldn't just leave you lying here all alone." Sirius said proudly.

This left me speechless. Sirius Black had sat beside my hospital bed, holding my hand, worrying over me since the night before. "Bu-u-ut you, you know you didn't have too… You must have better things to do with your time then sit in the hospital wing all day." I stumbled over the words.

"But, Alethia, I wanted to stay here. I wanted to make sure you were all right. I didn't want you to be alone in pain. It was my choice, and my choice was to stay here with you."

I couldn't help but smile as I said, "Well, I guess it's alright if you really wanted too…" And with that, he grabbed my hand and pulled his chair closer to mine.

He smiled as he leaned in close and whispered, "Alethia… I, uh, I-" But he was interrupted by a door being slammed open by Remus. We looked at each other, let go of our hands, and pretended to be talking about Quidditch when Remus saw us.

"Hey Ali!" Remus beamed, "I heard you were put in the hospital wing by this guy over here." He pointed to Sirius who immediately jumped out of the chair for him to sit down. Now I had another man holding my hand in the span of ten minutes, what was this world coming to? "Will you be better for the dance?" He said instantly.

"I think so, it's just a small graze on my head, nothing… "Sirius"." I winked up at Black as he started chortling.

"Nice one McKinnan!" He yelled as he strode out of the room.

"I don't get it." Remus bluntly stated. This was one small detail that actually annoyed me about Remus. He was slow to get jokes and didn't joke much himself.

"Sirius? Serious? Get it? It's one of the stupid Sirius puns…" I tried to explain.

"Oooh. I get it now! But Ali, I just can't stand you hurting." This was the first time I saw absolute love and care for me in Remus' eyes. But, somehow, I wished it would be replaced with the old look of companionship that he used to give me. Why did I want that? Didn't I love him? Hadn't I dreamt of him for the last three years? Why now did I want him to look at me like a friend? At this last thought I realized that I didn't love Remus, that I had led him on for two years thinking that I loved him, and now I knew I don't, he started liking me when I stopped liking him. Why did he have to start liking me all of a sudden? I couldn't give him false hope like I had in the past, so I decided then and there that I would stop, but for now, I just smiled and said, "Really, Remus, I'm not that hurt."

"Really? That's good then! Ali, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I've got to go finish my homework… See you later." Remus left in a wink, not even after five minutes of visiting me, and Sirius had stayed with me throughout the day and night. Being alone, though, left me though to my thoughts.

I didn't like Remus anymore… It was strange because he had been my infatuation for nearly three years and abruptly, it was gone. I wondered why it had just vanished like that; maybe it was because there was someone else for whom I had feelings. This thought occurred to me and the memory of Sirius holding my hand and stuttering, " Alethia… I—", popped into my mind. _No._ I thought. _I was definitely not falling for Sirius Black, and he wasn't falling for me either. It's just my little girl mind over thinking everything that boys do. But, at the same time, maybe I was… _These puzzling thoughts were starting to make my wound ache even more and I soon drifted off to sleep.

I dreamt of unfinished homework, of Lily marrying James, of Hogsmeade, and then, of Sirius Black. We were with Lily and James and we were all running away from something. I saw blurs of green and red lights go past my head as Sirius yelled at me to duck. We were running as fast as we could until from behind us I heard Sirius scream in pain. He was dying. I ran over to him yelling, "Sirius no! Don't go. You can't leave me." And he was gone. He was dead. I woke myself up from this horrible dream to find my own pillow soaked and myself saying over and over, "Sirius, don't die. Don't die." I started wiping my tears off my face only to hear his voice from behind me say, "Don't worry, dear. I won't die." There he was behind me, Sirius Black, laughing at how I dreamt of him.

**Thank you so much for reading! I was getting annoyed at Ali's crush on Remus so I got rid of it. But now he loves her! AAH! And what's up with her and Sirius? What was he going to say when Remus interrupted him? Keep reading and you'll find out! Thank you so much for reading! Please review! 15 out least before I post another chapter? No, I won't "force" you to review… Although it would be nice. Thanks, READ AND REVIEW! **

**-DancerSar***


	7. Ch7: The Dance

Ch7 The Dance

I widened my already large eyes to just blush in embarrassment. I didn't know what to say. I had just cried my eyes out over Sirius Black and he had seen me, could my world get any worse? Sirius was still smirking at me with that amused glint in his eyes. "It's okay if you dream about me, Ali. Half the girls in the school do. I never thought you were one of them though."

"I-I-I I'm not!" I managed to stammer out.

"Yep. Well, how come you were just yelling, 'Oh, Sirius, no! Sirius, you can't leave me! Sirius, no!'" He said mimicking my girl voice.

"No-oo… No, I didn't." I replied quietly.

"Yes you did, Alethia," He said quietly as he stepped forward and brushed a hair back off my face, "I was interrupted last time when Remus came in, what I was going to say, was—"

"Yes?" I raised my face to meet his.

"What I was going to say was, I, uh, I… hope you'll be better for Quidditch practice this afternoon." He dashed out of the room just after he said this. _What the heck? _ I thought, _what was that? He was centimeters away from me, and he is only worried about his Quidditch team? He knows now that I dreamt, yes, dreamt, ONCE about him. Whatever. But, I didn't really think he was going to say something about Quidditch of all things, I thought he was going to tell me… Never mind. That's impossible…_

"Ali?" That was Heidi's voice coming through the door.

"Heidi. Hey, could, I um, talk to you?" I asked.

"Yes. What about?" This began the unfolding of all the thoughts that had plagued my mind. I spoke about my feelings for Remus, for Remus' feelings for me, and of the man named Sirius. I told her about how he had stayed all night with me, how he had held my hand and pulled me close, of how he rushed out the room, and of how I had cried and dreamt about losing him. When I had finally finished Heidi just looked at me, her eyes full of understanding.

"Ali? I have a question. Do you think you love him? I was lost for words! The thought had never occurred to me… well, maybe once, but no! Me? Love Sirius Black? Never.

"No! Of course not! Who do you think I am?" She still had the same look in her eyes.

"Fine, but, you'll see soon enough. What do you think Sirius' feelings toward you are? Why has he been acting so strange? I think that's for me to know, and for you to find out."

"Heidi! What's that mean? Don't leave Heidi! What the heck does that mean?" But, it was too late. My quiet friend was already out the door and on her way to the great hall. How was it that she knew everything? She barely talked, but she knew more than any of us just by analyzing people

I couldn't help but have all these puzzling ideas afflict my thoughts for the next two weeks until the dance. I was definitely looking forward to the dance, but not to going with Remus. He had been kind to me, that's without a doubt, but I couldn't stand the thought that I might have to break his heart. Remus is to special for that, he's too sensitive and deserved the best. And, that is not I.

The day of the dance, Kathreen made us skip our last class of the day to beautify ourselves. She pushed us all into chairs and started with our makeup. We all wanted natural makeup and she thankfully obeyed our wishes, except for Lily. Lily had turned around to look in the mirror only to find her eyes covered in green and gold eye shadow. It was gorgeous, but nothing we ever expected to see on Lily Evans.

"KATHREEN ADAMS!" She started screeching at the top of her lungs, "What have you done to my face! I look like a supermodel or something!"

"Isn't that a good thing?" Kate asked hesitantly. We all laughed at this answer and soon Lily joined in.

"Kate! It's pretty, but I look…. Well different. But, fine! BEWARE DANCE FOR GREEN EYE LID LILY!" She yelled.

After Lily's makeup problem, doing our hair and getting dressed, we were all ready. We turned in the mirror to see four beautiful girls hidden behind carefully handcrafted masks. We did look, not to sound snotty, beautiful. When we reached the lobby, we went to meet out dates in the masks they described they'd be wearing. Kate met Tom who was awestruck, Lily and Heidi went off together, and I met Remus who smiled sweetly, "You look gorgeous, Ali."

"Thank you!" And with that, we made our way to the dance floor. I didn't know who each of the people were except my roommates. After a couple of fast dances, a slow one made its way up. I really, did not want to slow dance with Remus. So, I quickly said, "Remmy, lets get a drink and rest for a bit, kay?" He agreed in a wink and before I knew it he was off getting drinks while I sat down on the couch.

I was still waiting for his return when a hand was placed on my back as to ask for a dance. I said to myself, "Why not?" as we strode to the slow dance. The man who I was dancing with was quite tall and was wearing all black with a simple gold and silver mask covering his face. Dancing with this stranger made me forget all my troubles in the world; it was only myself wrapped in his arms and the slow drifting music. I soon forgot all about Remus and of the drinks he was getting until I heard the song end. I was still in this mans arms not wanting to leave when several things happened at once. The stranger whispered, "Thank you for the dance, Alethia." and took off his mask as he kissed me on the cheek, then a plate full of drinks crashed behind me, and I heard Remus scream in anger, "SIRIUS! What are you doing?" Sirius? I looked up to the man. It was indeed Sirius Black.

**Thanks for reading everyone! I really appreciate it. Remember, please review! :)Oh, what do you think should happen next? I'd love some ideas.**

**-DancerSar***


	8. Ch8: Lots of Wide Eyed Staring

Chapter 8

I didn't know what to think, what to do, or what to say. I looked up at Sirius, starting to cry and then at Remus. Sirius had kissed me on the cheek, Remus had saw, my world was going to end. A tear fell to my cheek, and then, I ran. I ran as far as I could away from my worries and troubles. I wanted to be as far away from them as possible. What could I do? Stay away from them my whole life? That couldn't work, I was friends with both of them. I would have to deal with it, or not. I reached the portrait hole out of breath when I was stopped.

"Ali. Don't run." It was Remus' quiet voice. "I don't know what happened back there. I thought you liked me? Why were you dancing with Sirius?" He breathed hard as he said this. I looked up to him only to see real anger being hidden in his eyes by confusion.

I didn't know how to respond. I didn't want to hurt him, I mean; I was just as confused as he was. I soon thought my words over carefully and thought of this, "Remus, I don't know what happened. Too be honest. I-I-I didn't know I was dancing with Sirius. And Remus?" I looked directly in his eyes, "I did used to like you, maybe even love. But, I realized a while ago that, I didn't actually love you. I just loved being your friend. Please, Remus. Do, you… hate me?"

He stared, "Alethia, how could anyone hate you? I can say I'm hurt, but I just started to like you. It won't be a big wound to heal. Alethia, we can just be friends if that's really what you want. But, I really thought you liked me… When did you realize you didn't?"

"Uh… well, when I was in the hospital after Sirius stunned me… I think." I replied.

"Hmm… That's an odd place… and, can you tell me then, why Sirius kissed you on the cheek? What was that?" I knew this question was going to come up sooner or later.

"I don't know, Remus! I'm so confused I can barely think. Please. I just want to forget about tonight. It was an absolute disaster. But, um…" He glanced up at me, "Could you try to figure out what happened with Sirius and what on earth he was thinking?"

"Yes. I can do that. Ali, don't worry. It will all be okay. And, Sirius is probably just being an idiot. Just forget all about it and take a sleeping potion. I'll go talk with Black." He pulled me into a tight hug before he left which reminded me of why he was one of the greatest friends ever and made me truly glad he said we could still be friends. Sure, it might be a little awkward at the beginning but it will soon be the same. As for now, I took Remus' advise and slept.

The next day the events of the past night came flooding into my mind. I didn't know how to deal with him. I was around him almost all day, we were partners in class, had almost all the same classes, and had Quidditch practice that night. I groaned as I thought these things over. Maybe, I could be sick? I could always just ignore him. Or… maybe he'd blow up! Crazy thoughts of every kind entered my head as I walked down to the breakfast table. I had ruled out the first thought of being sick, so I went with the second. Ignoring.

I took my normal seat next to Lily and Kathreen who I'm sure had been told the whole story. They looked at me curiously with a look of, "Talk later?" And began talking to each other again. Remus looked at me with the same look my friends gave me and James was eating normally like nothing out of the ordinary happened. I scanned up and down the table looking for a certain man of the name Black, but did not succeed in finding him. He wasn't anywhere to be seen. Thank goodness! I couldn't imagine having to look at him. But, my joyful thoughts of him bursting fell to pieces as he walked in with his saunter more pronounced than normal to our first class. Defense Against the Dark Arts. Holy Merlin help me, I thought as he took his normal seat next to me.

"Ali! How was breakfast?" Sirius started.

I just stared at him horrified that he was acting as though nothing had changed. I couldn't answer. I just stared open mouthed at him.

"What's wrong? Did you see Peter and that Slytherin again?" he joked acting the same.

"Sirius! Are you acting as though nothing had happened? Well, something did. You just embarrassed me in front of the school! I don't know what got into you. Black, I am going to be completely cordial to you. Do you understand what happened? We are no longer friends." I let out. I couldn't believe that I had actually said this; I had said we weren't friends anymore. I wanted to take it back, but I couldn't, I was too prideful.

I looked at his eyes, wide in disbelief. He was hurt. This was the first time I had seen Sirius Black at a lost for words. He was still staring at me with real pain in his eyes. I couldn't stand to look at them so I quickly looked down at my feet. It was getting awkwardly silent when neither one of us moved. I had to see what was wrong with him. I looked back into his eyes to see a tear on his cheek. I had made the toughest man in school cry. He didn't bother to wipe it away; he just stared at me in pain. He had lost my friendship, maybe even the romantic relationship he hoped for, was lost. With the tear still on his cheek, he looked down at me, touched my shoulder lightly and said, "I-I've got to go." And, he was gone. Just like that. I stood there, confused, tears springing up in my own eyes as I slumped down into my chair. I didn't know what to think. That was surely not what I expected from Sirius Black. I had thought he would ignore me, or act hostile, but not cry when I mentioned that our friendship was broken.

As I let the tears fall from my eyes, I heard a voice from behind me, "Ali? What happened? I just saw Sirius walk out. He looked well, sad."

I flew myself into Remus' arms for comfort, "I-I- don't know! I said our friendship was over, or whatever it was and h-he, cried. Actually cried. Does he really love me? Or was that a-a, I don't know, weird reaction?" I asked whimpering.

"Yes, Ali. I do believe he does. I've never seen him act that way before. Last night he never went to bed, instead he just sat in the Library and thought. I've never seen him cry as well. Ali, do you think you could like him? Even a little bit?"

I thought for a moment. The thoughts that had plagued my mind led me to the conclusion, "Yes", but I was positive I didn't, so I ended up saying, "I don't think so…"

"If that's what you really believe. But, think about it hard, okay? By the way, I see you need a partner for the class, and yours ran out. Mines sick, so, would I have the honor in assisting you with some disarming spells?" This brought a smile to my face.

"Yeah, why not? C'mon, lets practice."

The events of the past night and morning had led me to forget the fact that we had Quidditch practice that night. That meant, dealing with Sirius. I made my way down to the Quidditch pitch, looking my best (if he did like me, then I didn't want to be ugly, right?) and stopped to see the team already flying in the air. Was I late? All the other practices had been scheduled for seven o'clock, how come this was different?

"OI! McKinnan! Why are you late? This practice started half hour ago, where've you been?" And, that was Sirius. Joy.

"I, uh, didn't know the time was changed… No one ever told me." I said not looking up. He seemed quite cheery although he had missed a whole day of classes and walked out of a class crying. I guess Quidditch does that to people.

"Well, Ali, looks like you'll have to have some one on one practice with me after practice. A half-hour, just the amount you missed. It's only fair." He looked back and smirked at James who was cracking up.

I couldn't have one on one Quidditch with Sirius Black! What was he thinking? Didn't I tell him our friendship was over? I didn't want to think of what he would do during these thirty minutes that we were all alone if it wasn't Quidditch.

"B-b-but!" I protested angrily.

"No buts about it! You have an extra practice with me. Now what are you waiting for? Get on the field!" What was I going to do? What were we going to talk about? The obvious answer was Quidditch, but I was positive this was wrong. These thoughts swarmed in and out as I tried to make goal after goal, but kept on missing. Soon, the real practice was over and my own started. I stayed up in the air waiting for everyone to leave so I could start, only to hear Sirius call out, "Ali! Come down here! I need some help putting this bludger back!" This was exactly like him: forcing me to go down there.

"Fine…" I calmed out grumpily. I swooped down to the ground in one long dive. When I had landed I found Sirius standing over the case of bludgers. He had already put it away. What. A. Jerk.

"Oops! Looks like I already put it away. But, now that you're here Ali, we have to talk." He stepped towards me.

"W-w-what if I don't want to talk?" I stuttered.

"Too bad, Ali." He smirked.

"I really have a lot of homework…" I said gesturing up to the castle.

Sirius ignored this and looked down at me. "Ali…" he said quietly over and over, "I love you. I didn't ever expect that I would say those words and mean it, but I have. Alethia, you're the most amazing person in the world. I love the way you stutter when your uncomfortable, the way you can make your eyes twice as big, your love for everyone around you. I love the way you can make me feel happy if I had the worst day. I love the way you bite your lip when you're concentrating. I love how your short, your small feet, and pink cheeks. Ali, I can't describe how much I love you. The first time I realized I loved you, was that night you were in the hospital wing. That night I saw how much you meant to me and how lost I would be if you were in there with a serious injury. Last night, I realized it as you were sitting alone waiting for Remus. You looked so patient and sweet smiling and waving at everyone even if they were your enemies, I couldn't help but make a move. Alethia, I love you."

I was lost for words. Sirius had just said those three words to me. He loved me. I felt a red hot blush creep up from my neck to my cheeks as I swallowed. I didn't understand, the last few years, he had annoyed me to hell and now; he was telling me he loved me. I had to say something though, even if I didn't want to, I had to.

"Sirius," I began nervously, "I-I don't think I feel the same way…"

"Think? That means you still might, right?" Sirius interjected.

"Don't interrupt me. I don't feel the same way. Please, I don't know what happened this year that changed our teasing way, but I want it to be the same old way it was. I take back what I said earlier, our friendship is not dissolved. We can still be friends if that means we are not at all romantically together. Sirius, please, I'm sorry…"I didn't know if this was the right way to say things, but hopefully it would do. I shuffled my feet as I waited for his reply.

"Alethia, of course. If that's what it will take for you to be happy, then I will have to make that sacrifice. I will be your friend even if we can't be anything more. I just want you to be happy." Sirius replied slowly. I could hear the disappointment in his voice as he said these words. I looked up at his face that showed true love and caring as he pulled me into a side hug. "We're friends, don't worry."

"Thank you, Sirius." I said quietly as we made our way back into the castle in silence.

**Thank you for reading guys! :) I hope you like this chapter! I was thinking of putting up a chapter of Sirius' POV from the dance and after it... What do you think? Thanks! READ AND REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	9. Ch9: Sirius' POV from after the dance

**This is Sirius' POV from after the dance! Just like I promised! :) So, don't be confused.**

Why did I just do that? I had just kissed Alethia McKinnan on the cheek, the girl Remus fancied, I had kissed on the cheek. She had looked so beautiful in her pink dress, all fancied up like that, I couldn't resist. Don't get me wrong, Alethia wasn't just another girl, she was much, much more. I loved her. I had figured that much out a while ago in the hospital. She meant so much to me, in a way, she fascinated me. She wasn't like the other girls at all. She could always laugh, wasn't afraid of getting dirty, and wasn't "awe-stuck" with me (if she was, she didn't show it). I was going to admit my love that day in the hospital, but it just wouldn't come out. Now, I had kissed her on the cheek in front of the school and she ran away crying. I also betrayed my one of the fellow Marauders, by hitting on their girl, which was strictly against the rulebook. Now, I had to face everyone in the school, the Marauders, and Ali.

Students were still staring at me as I turned to leave, "What the hell are you staring at? Don't you have your own stupid problems to deal with instead of worrying about mine?" I yelled as I closed the door behind me. I ran up the winding staircases up to the common room and turned the corner to hear Ali and Remus talking. It sounded like the end of the conversation, but I still listened as hard as I could.

"Sirius is probably just being an idiot. Just forget about it and take a sleeping potion. I'll go talk with Black." I heard Remus tell Ali when they closed the door. So, Remus thought I was an idiot? He didn't sound to upset with Ali, or even angry at all. Good sign. I took this chance and opened the portrait hole wide to find an empty room. Looks like they both made their way up to the dormitories; I had to talk with Remus. Drawing a great breath of air, I climbed the staircase, and opened the door to find him expectantly waiting for me.

"Sirius? You've got some explaining." Remus stated.

How was I supposed to answer him? I wasn't supposed to tell him all my feelings for Ali, was I? I didn't know how else to start. So I began, "Remus, I think I'm in love with Ali."

"You're what? In love? Have you lost your mind? You just became friends this year; do you really think you know her? Ali will not just be another conquest of yours, I will protect her from that." Remus looked completely confused, surprised, and every other adjective I could think of.

"Yes. I love Alethia McKinnan. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I should have knowing you fancied her yourself. But, she is not just another "conquest". She's the most incredible person I know. She's well, different. She doesn't care about getting dirty, doesn't obsess over relationships, she, always can make me laugh, and that's a pretty rare gift. What about you, Remus? Don't you still like her? What do you think about it?"

"I think you're completely crazy. But, Ali and I are just friends now. We talked it over. Sure, I liked her, but that was only because she liked me. She doesn't anymore, she told me so."

"Really? So, there isn't any type of battle going on here? That's great." I said relieved. Everything was okay with Remus even though he thought I was, "completely crazy". James would be okay with it, when was he never not, and Peter would say, "Really Sirius? You're the best and make the best choices. You of course know if you love her or not. You're the smartest person I know!" Or something along those lines…

"Well, Sirius. What are you going to tell Ali? That you love her? How's she supposed to react? Is she going to "magically love you to?" Remus questioned.

"That's the plan." I said joyfully as I ran out to the Library. I felt, alive, happy, sad, and confused at the same time. Is this what love does to you? I sat down at a table, took out my homework, and, instead of writing about the "magical healing power of herbs", I thought. I thought about Ali. She truly was remarkable, I thought to myself. It seemed strange to me though, every other girl I had been with had been for lust, but now, I was head-over-heals in love with a girl who did not see me the same. It was different, and I liked it. I didn't know what her reaction would be tomorrow when she saw me, or even when I tell her I love her. But, I had a plan to get her alone, even if she didn't want to.

I took some parchment out to write letters to the Quidditch team that the time was rescheduled to a half an hour earlier than normal. I added in a "p.s." not to tell Ali. This was going to be perfect, the team would already be practicing for a while, she'll come late, and then have to stay an extra thirty minutes for extra practice with me for what she missed! I smiled smugly at this plan, it was, not to brag, perty good. I thought out all the details, of what I would say, of what I would do, late into the night until I fell asleep with my head on my open book.

The next morning, I woke up not knowing where I was for a second, but then it all came back. I was going to talk to Ali today. No… I couldn't... what would happen? What was wrong with me? Just last night I was happy and confident, and now I was a fraidy-cat. I tried to stand up to walk to breakfast, but felt dizzy the minute my feet hit the floor. Why couldn't I stand? Because I was afraid. I sighed. I couldn't go to breakfast and have her ignore me with the whole school watching. That would be downright embarrassing. But, then, I remembered that the first class was Defense Against the Dark Arts. She would have to talk to me then, we're partners! I laughed at myself for not thinking of this earlier as I headed up to the portrait hole once again.

I sauntered into the classroom to see her. She was just as beautiful as always. I had to act happy. I just had to. I approached her desk and took my seat next to her. I began excitedly, "Ali! How was breakfast?" she just stared, that wide-eyed stare I loved. I didn't know what to say so I joked, "What's wrong? Did you see Peter and that Slytherin again?"

She was still wide eyed in shock as she began sputtering, "Sirius! Are you acting as though nothing had happened? Well, something did. You just embarrassed me in front of the school! I don't know what got into you. Black, I am going to be completely cordial to you. Do you understand what happened? We are no longer friends."

No longer friends. These words still rang in my ears after she finished. No longer friends… What was the chance for anything more? Why would I even try? She was angry at me, angry at me for the last night. I loved her, and she hated me with passion. I didn't know I had a tear on my cheek until she looked up at me awkwardly. I was crying, one of the strongest guys in the school, crying. I had to leave. I couldn't just stand here crying. But, I wanted to say something to her. I lightly touched her shoulder thinking of telling her I loved her, but thought better of it, and whispered instead, "I've got to go."

I ran into Remus as I fled out the room. I had just cried in front of the girl I loved. This whole world was turning upside down. I had to think. I thought about what happened, what could happen, what wouldn't happen, but no answers to all my questions came. I wouldn't go back to class that day, I had decided. It would be best if she didn't see me until practice; I would still go with the plan I came up with the night before, even if the results were horrific. The whole day I went over what I would say to her at Quidditch. I changed it, but then I changed it back, and then I would change it again, and back again. This was so not good for the nerves.

That night at Quidditch practice, everything went as planned. Everyone showed up, except for Alethia. Then about thirty minutes in, she came looking confused and frustrated. I yelled down at her, "OI! McKinnan! Why are you late? This practice started a half hour ago, where've you been?"

She yelled back hesitantly, probably wondering why I had cried and now was cheery, "I, uh, didn't know the time was changed… No one ever told me!"

I started with the second part of my plan, "Well, Ali, looks like you'll have to have some one on one practice with me after practice. A half-hour, just the amount you missed. It's only fair." I heard James cracking up behind me who I'm sure knew of the whole plan.

It was funny to see her reaction she was red in the face, looking like she was going to yell profanities at me. Instead she just protested with a weak, "but".

I laughed at this; she was so cute when she spluttered like that, "No buts about it! You have an extra practice with me. Now what are you waiting for? Get on the field!" I knew she was practically having a migraine with her thoughts as she missed every goal she tried for. The real practice was over and Ali had stayed in the air. Dang, I had thought she would come down, but no, she stayed up. I had to get her down. Suddenly, I had an idea, "Ali! Come down here! I need some help putting this bludger back!" I knew she knew what I was doing as she mumbled out some response. When she landed, after an incredible dive, I called out quickly getting my words out, "Oops! Looks like I already put it away… But, now that you're here, we have to talk." I stepped closer towards her.

"W-w-what if I don't want to?" She stuttered again as she backed away.

"Too bad, Ali." I smirked at her as I came closer. She again made some lame excuse about homework when I interrupted her. "Ali…" I said over and over, loving the sound of her name, "I love you. I didn't ever expect that I would say those words and mean it, but I have. Alethia, you're the most amazing person in the world. I love the way you stutter when your uncomfortable, the way you can make your eyes twice as big, your love for everyone around you. I love the way you can make me feel happy if I had the worst day. I love the way you bite your lip when you're concentrating. I love how your short, your small feet, and pink cheeks. Ali, I can't describe how much I love you. The first time I realized I loved you, was that night you were in the hospital wing. That night I saw how much you meant to me and how lost I would be if you were in there with a serious injury. Last night, I realized it as you were sitting alone waiting for Remus. You looked so patient and sweet smiling and waving at everyone even if they were your enemies, I couldn't help but make a move. Alethia, I love you." This was it, I had just told her all my feelings that I had rehearsed over and over all day. It was now or never.

She looked lost in thoughts, but soon, quicker than I thought she would, "Sirius, I don-n't think I feel the same way…" What think?

"Think? That means you still might, right?" I asked hopeful.

"Don't interrupt me!" She said stronger, "I don't feel the same way. Please, I don't know what happened this year that changed our teasing way, but I want it to be the same old way it was. I take back what I said earlier, our friendship is not dissolved. We can still be friends if that means we are not at all romantically together. Sirius, please, I'm sorry…"

She had emphasized the, "don't. "I knew it was a lost cause, why had I even tried? I tried because I loved her. I loved every bit of her; I had to make her happy. I was only able to form the words, "Alethia, of course. If that's what it will take for you to be happy, then I will have to make that sacrifice. I will be your friend even if we can't be anything more. I just want you to be happy." She looked guilty, like she didn't like to see me hurt, "We're friends don't worry." To reassure her I pulled her into one of my famous side hugs. As we walked up to the school, I heard her say quietly "Thank you, Sirius."

**Thank you for reading! Please REVIEW! 12 right now! Tell me what you think, and what should the next chapter be about?**


	10. Ch10: Werewolves? Threats? WHAT?

**Thanks for reading! :) Review!**

Ch10: Furry Little Problem?

Everything had happened so fast. The dance, Sirius' proclamation, our friendship. I didn't know what to make of it anymore, I had had two of my friends like me and then tell me they're okay with being friends if it's for me in the span of two days! Sirius was now always walking me to classes, helping me with things, even bringing me hot chocolate from the kitchens. It was, I admit, kind of nice having Sirius "love" me, he would do whatever I asked of him, however crazy it was, and it was nice to know someone loved me, that I wasn't forgotten, that I was truly cared for by another.

After that one Quidditch practice, everything went fine for the next couple weeks, until one night. I was asleep in my bed when my eyes snapped open only to see Sirius Black's head right above mine.

"Good evening, Ali." He said unaware of how strange this appeared to me.

"Black! What are you doing here? I'm sleeping! Why the heck are you waking me up? How'd you even get up here?" I asked in confusion hurriedly.

"Stunned the stairs. But you've got to come quick, to the hospital wing. Something happened, and well, us marauders have to tell you something." What the hell? I thought as I pulled on my robe and slippers.

"What happened? Hospital wing? Who's hurt?" Sirius just ignored my questions and led me up flights of stairs until we reached the hospital wing. What could have happened and what did they need to tell me? I racked my brains for a possible answer but could find none. But, hopefully, my questions would be answered soon. And, sure enough, when I opened the door, I saw Remus. He was covered in blood with deep gashes all over his body; Madam Pomfry was working over him quietly repeating slow incantations to close up his wounds. I stared at the sight, not being able to breathe. I soon turned to Sirius, "W-why, why's he h-hurt?"

"Ali, please. Be calm when I tell you this and don't do anything rash. You know how Remus has this "furry little problem" that we always talk about? Well, that isn't actually a rabbit. It's him. It's his own problem." I still stared at him confused. "Alethia, Remus is a werewolf." Sirius finished.

Werewolf? That wasn't possible. It couldn't be. Remus, the sweetest little guy ever, who has always been there for me couldn't possibly be a werewolf. "No! Remus is not a werewolf." I let out not believing Sirius' words. Sirius just looked at me sympathetically. "H-he can't be!" This was when the two other marauders came over.

"Remus is definitely a werewolf." James said. Peter just violently shook his head.

"No… He's a werewolf? Why didn't he tell me?" I questioned.

"Because he was afraid you'd be frightened of him. That you wouldn't want to be friends anymore." That thought was absurd.

"You're kidding me right? I'm shocked to say the least. But, he's still the same old Remmy, right? This doesn't change him. But, can I see him?"

"Not yet." They all said together. Sirius then said, "We have to tell you something else too."

"Well?" I said curiously.

"Again, don't freak out." He then cast a spell over at Madam Pomfry, sounded like "muffliato" or something before he continued, "We, marauders are, Animagi." They couldn't be Animagi, they'd have to be licensed, and it was far too difficult to achieve the art of turning into a form of an animal.

"No, you aren't." I said disbelieving again. They still stared at me. "You are? But, you're not licensed… are you?"

"Nope." They said in unison all making their p's pop.

"Well, you could get in some trouble." I said under my breath before adding, "What animals are you then?"

"Mouse! That's why I'm called Worm tail." Pettigrew squeaked. "Stag. Therefore the name, Prongs." James said triumphantly. "Big, mangy old mutt. Hence, the name Pad-foot." Sirius declared. I was speechless once again. Why had they done this? What got into their heads to do such a dangerous thing? And then, it hit me.

"You've been doing this to help Remus, right?" I said quietly, "So he can hurt you without turning you into a werewolf."

"He's more tame when we're there with him. Tonight, he was uncontrollable though. We had to leave or else we'd be killed." Sirius replied.

"Can I see him? I need to talk with him. Please, Sirius?" I asked hopefully. I knew he wouldn't say no. When does he ever say no to me anymore?

"I guess. Be careful with your words though." I walked past him and up to Madam Pomfry. He looked even worse close up. I could see now he was pale because the loss of blood, his gashes were red and fresh, and he was whimpering in pain.

"Remus?" I asked silently, "I just talked to the Marauders. They told me everything." He groaned as he turned over to look at me.

"No! No... Now you know. I know you're disgusted with me. Leave. I'm a werewolf. Doesn't that frighten you?" He replied heatedly pausing in between words.

"Well it would if I ever met you in that form. But, you're still the sweetest, kindest guy I know. This doesn't change who you are! I'm shocked of course. And, a little disappointed you never told me. Why didn't you?" I was saddened at this thought. That he really thought I would run away from him and not be a loyal friend.

"I was afraid you'd run away. You would think of me as a monster. But, I-I was wrong." His voice was slow and shaky like he was in real pain. "I'm s-sorry. I should've told you. I'm sorry Alethia." After he said that, his head rolled back and he passed out. Madam Pomfry came hurrying over, giving him more medicine and repeating the incantations as she shooed me away from his bedside.

"How'd it go?" Sirius asked me.

"Fine. I'm going to bed. My brain hurts. This is a lot to take in at once. Thanks for telling me though, Sirius." I said as I ran back down to my room.

Remus Lupin was a werewolf. My friend, a werewolf. The marauders were unlicensed Animagi! I couldn't believe what I had just heard. This year had changed so much in the love aspect of it, and now, Remus was a werewolf? It still shocked me to know that although he was the most considerate and kind person you know, he could still be a werewolf. The thought that every month he transformed with the help of the Marauders into a terrifying killing beast and back into his normal self sickened me. He shouldn't have to live through that. It wasn't fair. He didn't deserve this torture! I couldn't think of this horrific news any more so I fell asleep, wanting to shut the awful, cruel world out of my mind.

The next day, Remus was still not out of the hospital. No one seemed to know when his cuts would heal, but we all visited him daily. I was going to talk with Sirius about the werewolf thing, but he didn't turn up for breakfast. That was strange. The only time he had not come for breakfast was the day after the dance. I wondered where he was and decided to ask James. "Hey, where's Sirius?"

"Why? Do you realize you looooove him?" He teased.

"No. I'm just curious because he NEVER misses breakfast!" I replied a little coldly.

"Oh… Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I don't know where he is. He was gone when I woke up."

"You're not at all worried?"

"No… he probably just had to go somewhere, I don't know." James said before turning to Lily and saying, "Lily, how'd you sleep? You got enough beauty sleep because you sure look beautiful!" I rolled my eyes and continued to look for Black. He didn't turn up even at the end of breakfast or the beginning of class, or at the end of that class. In our second period though, he came storming through the doors as red as a beet. He collapsed down in his seat blowing his hair out of his face looking as though he was going to blow up.

"What's wrong, Sirius?" I whispered frantically.

"None of your business, McKinnan." He sneered back. I was taken aback; it had been a long while since he had snapped at me like that.

"It is my business because you're my friend and you're acting unusually angry. Now, tell me what's the matter?" I asked trying to be calm.

"I told you. It's none of your business. Just be quiet for once in your life." He snapped again.

"Fine. You won't tell me. You'll just be angry your whole life when you could have confided in "your one true love"…"I began mockingly. At this comment he looked sorry and desperate. "Sirius, please tell me what's wrong!" I pleaded one last time.

"Ali," He said hopelessly, "It's my brother, Regulus. He's joined Voldemort. And… He, asked me to join too. He said that he'd get rid of what I care for the most." I was astonished. His brother was a death eater and he had threatened Sirius. He had threatened to take away something special from him, and I had a feeling that thing, was I.

"Sirius… I'm so sorry." I started before getting cut short.

"Ali! Don't you get it? The thing I care the most about is you! He threatened to take away you, Alethia! I told you I would never let anything happen to you, but what if something does? I would die to make sure you were safe." Sirius yelled standing up in the middle of the classroom.

"You didn't tell him you'd join right? I won't let you. That wouldn't be fair to you, and I am not willing to let you waste away your entire life." I told him standing up as well.

"Good God, of course not! I told him I would never join their little clan of murderers. But, now, what if he actually meant it? What if he's coming after you?" He looked at me tenderly, "I-I can't loose you Alethia. Even if we are just friends." I was again lost for words. What if they were coming after me this moment? They weren't I assured myself; it was just a threat, nothing more.

"Sirius. Relax. It was just a threat, nothing more. They can't pull anything funny at Hogwarts with Dumbledore here. It was just a threat. But, promise me that no matter what they threat, you will not join your brother." I said out of breath.

"I promise, Alethia."

"Pinky promise?" I asked reminding me of that one night in the library with Remus.

"Pinky promise." He smiled before adding, "Y'know, I would do the unbreakable vow."

I chuckled, "I'm sure you would, Sirius."

**I don't know if I should continue this story... I have an idea for a different one... but, do you think I should continue?**

**-DancerSar***

**(Oh! And, if I continue, would anyone like to Beta this (quickly)? PM me if you'd be interested!)**


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